


On My Knees

by blazeofglory



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Prays, Episode: s08e17 Goodbye Stranger, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 03:32:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazeofglory/pseuds/blazeofglory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is gone. Again. What choice does Dean have but to pray?</p>
            </blockquote>





	On My Knees

It's a rainy Wednesday night in some cheap motel in Nowheresville, Idaho, Sam gone to get dinner and the door locked tight, when Dean Winchester gets on his knees. 

He feels a little stupid starting up the prayers after everything, but it's been a week since Cas left again, and Dean just feels so... empty. Without his brother and his angel, he's nothing, and Sam is falling apart at the seams and he has no idea where Cas is or if he's even okay. So he worries. And he decides to pray. It may not comfort Castiel at all, but on the offchance Dean's words gave him a little bit of faith... Dean's a selfish creature, though, so he acknowledges the fact that this is just as much for himself as it is for Cas. 

Dean looks around the room, one last check that he's alone, then closes his eyes. "Cas," he begins hoarsely, voice cracking. "I know you get my prayers. And I don't know if they help, man, but I want you to know I'm still prayin'."

Thunder sounds in the distance and Dean waits for the lightning before he continues. "Me and Sam are worried about you... I guess you've probably guessed that though, right?" He chuckles bitterly, shaking his head. "We want our angel back."

Dean opens his eyes to stare out at the storm blankly, wishing more than anything that Cas trusted him enough to come back. "I'm not asking you again to come home with me-- us, I mean. I know your job is important. And I just-- I'm here for you, Cas."

I heard once that prayers are heard better when you're on your knees, so Cas, I hope you know I'm down on the ground here. You need to hear me. Not just what I'm saying, but that I'm saying anything at all. And doesn't-- doesn't that say everything?"

He shakes his head slowly again, because he's a coward who can't even say 'I love you.' 

Maybe next time.

"Anyway," he plunders on, "Me and Sammy are another case now. Business as usual." He hears a noise from outside, but it's not Sam at the door. Good. He's not quite done yet. "I miss home. How weird is that? Me having a home... You'd really like it, Cas. Lots of books, big kitchen. You could have your own room if you wanted."

The visual makes Dean smile. Castiel, angel of the Lord, trading out his trenchcoat for a bathrobe and getting domestic. It's something Dean decides he wants to see. 

"Sammy... He's worn out by these trials, but you know I'll take care of that kid if it's the last thing I do. It already has been once. I'd die for you too, y'know."

He glances at the clock. Sam should be back soon. "I gotta wrap this up, Cas, but... I'll pray again, okay? I mean, since we got dumped in Purgatory, have I ever really stopped?" He pauses. Should he say it? Didn't Cas deserve to know, and not to wait until 'next time'? "I-- I love you, man. Be safe, wherever the hell you are."


End file.
